What Capcom didn't want you to see!!!
by ShadesOfBlack
Summary: So what if the insane bartender is the only sane one in the city? Hey, why is everybody running? Maybe Nemesis only wants a friend! Please R&R!


Okay, so I got REALLY board in Study Hall. Just please PRETEND it's funny? Okay, so that something makes sense later on, remember in Resident Evil 2 when ya first meet the Licker? If you listen closely, you can hear either Leon or Claire (depending on whom you pick) say "Oh boy!" For the longest time, a friend of mine thought that the Licker was saying that...please, don't call the nuthouse. It's not his fault Capcom didn't move Leon's lips!!!  
  
A gloomy street in Raccoon City laid motionless, all except for the nearly severed streetlight on Main and Oak. The red light flashed as it swung back in forth in the gentle breeze. The police station sat silent and without activity for the time being. Bodies littered the streets, and some walked drunkenly along, their lifeless forms looking for live flesh to feast upon.   
  
In a bar along North Oak, a loud sound could be heard.  
"Hey, don't you think you've had enough?!" A man said, crossing his arms and looking up at his customer from behind the oak counter. It was lined with bar stools and the place was filled with smoke. A few dim light bulbs and a fluorescent OPEN sign gave it the standard bar atmosphere. Tables and chairs filled the rest of the empty space. The bartender's white apron looked freshly washed and pressed. His thick northern accent was often difficult to understand, but some got used to it.  
  
"STARS!!!" Nemesis hit the counter with his fist.   
  
"Okay man, just don't kill me if you can't catch the chick because you see three of her!"   
  
"STARS!!!" He hit his fist on the counter again, this time smashing his own glass.  
  
"Okay, here! Take the whole damn bottle, I don't care!" The bartender shoved a mostly full bottle of Jack Daniel's in Nemesis' face.   
  
He gave a ghastly grin and darted his eye this way and that. "STAAARRRSS." He sighed, and trudged out of the bar.   
  
"Hey, you gotta pay for that! It's expensive!" The bartender yelled after him.  
  
Near the back of the bar was another table set up with a chessboard, a very eventful game in progress.   
  
"Oh boy!" The licker on the ceiling yelped, sticking out his tongue and daintily moving his queen and putting his opponent in checkmate.  
  
"URAHHHHH!!!" The hunter shrieked, giving the bottom of the table a violent shove. The chessboard and pieces, as well as the top of the table, flew to the other end of the room, the plastic pieces bouncing as they hit the ground.   
  
"You better clean that up before you leave!" The bartender yelled across the room.  
  
The hunter swiveled his head over, locking eyes with the bartender. He stuck his three-clawed arm up, and pulled down the two outer claws.   
  
"Oh boy!" The licker growled, sticking out his tongue in an offensive manner.   
  
"ROOAAARRR!" The hunter yelled up at the licker, who was still on the ceiling.  
  
"Hey, if you have a bar fight in here, I'll shoot both your mutated asses!"   
  
The licker and the hunter both looked at the hotheaded, big mouth bartender.   
  
"Umm, uh, just an expression guys...uh, yeah." He said, looking down at the glass he was drying and moving his rag furiously across its surface.   
  
"Oh boy..." The licker said down to the hunter.  
  
"Roarrr..." The hunter acknowledged. They both started to advance on the bar counter, the licker dropping from the ceiling and landing like a cat on one of the tables.   
  
"Yo, let's talk about this...hey, my chess board! What about those free beers?! Fellas? Umm..." The bartender backed away cautiously. As the two creatures prepared to leap forward, a large hand grabbed each of them by the back of the neck.  
  
"OH BOY!!!" The licker screeched.  
  
"URAHHH!" The hunter screamed.  
  
"STARS!" Nemesis threw both of them behind him, out the windows of the bar.  
  
The bartender gave a nervous laugh. "Eh, heh heh heh...thanks. What can I get for you?" He gulped.  
  
He daintily set down a half-eaten glass bottle with what was left of the Jack Daniel's label. Nemesis gave a hopeful grin. "Stars?" With this, he set down the severed forearm of a man, still grasping a wallet.  
  
The bartender laughed. "Whoa, you drank that whole thing?!" Nemesis nodded. "Well then..." The bartender lifted a large plastic case lined with bottles of the same beverage and set it on the counter heavily. "Okay...knock yourself out."  
  
Nemesis gave him a sideways look, and proceeded to lift the case over his head, hesitating every couple of seconds or so.   
  
"Uh, what are you doing?" The bartender asked.  
  
"Stars!" Nemesis slammed the case over his head, shattering each bottle and rendering him unconscious.   
  
"Oh, you idiot!! Why do bio-weapons ALWAYS have to be so literal? I lose more friends that way, I swear!!!  
  
  
The End...sorta...  



End file.
